Kanye West gives Kim Kardashian a giant portrait of his face, for realsies

Imagine, if you will, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West sitting down over a glass of bubbly. Kim's wearing her entire Dorothy Perkins range in one go, while Kanye's sipping Krystal out of a mug emblazoned with the faces of the Kardashian sisters. A vast cardboard cutout of Kris Jenner looms over the scene... What we're saying here is they are essentially drowning in their own merchandise.
Anyway, they're chatting away and Kanye decides now is the time to present Kim with his birthday gift to her. He snaps his fingers and two butlers wearing Kim facemasks open the ornately decorated doors. A loud dragging noise can be heard from the corridor outside, along with muffled swearing. Six midgets heft the enormous package into the room and stand there, panting. Kim opens the present to reveal… a portrait of Kanye wearing a crown.

An artist's impression of Kanye's portrait...

 

Yes, world-renowned romantic Kanye West has given his fiancee a 4ft x 6ft picture of himself to celebrate her 33 years of life.
In the canvas, he is depicted reclining on a bed wearing a red and gold crown and, presumably, gesturing towards his penis with a smirk on his face.
That's not even the best bit - clearly Kim couldn't whip out a lifesize portrait of Kanye whenever she wanted to show him off, so he even gave her a miniature version for her to slip into her purse.
A source told the Sun: "Kim found the whole thing really funny, despite Kanye being serious and even suggesting getting copies for himself.
"She said it depicts him so well as he loves himself, which she admires."


Unfortunately the painted monstrosity has had to go into storage while the loved-up couple wait to move into their new LA home, so hopefully there won't be a terrible leak that destroys it completely. That would be a real shame.