Chris Brown does not have anger issues, guys, he just defaults to punching things to cope with them. ‘This microwave isn’t heating the popcorn quickly enough!’ PUNCH. ‘My car won’t start!’ PUNCH. ‘The tomato sauce won’t come out of this ketchup bottle quickly enough!’ PUNCH. ‘I got ketchup bottle glass embedded in my hand!’ PUNCHES HAND WITH OTHER HAND.
Anyway, professional puncher and semi-professional singer Chris Brown has had his probation revoked by a judge this week.
Brown has been under probation since the infamous incident with Rihanna in 2009, and has had it extended about a gajillion times since because he keeps punching into or shouting at things.
Now Brown – who has been in rehab for the past few weeks to deal with his anger issues – has had his probation revoked, with a judge deciding this week that his repeated law-breaking/fan-punching meant he has basically no respect for the law. While normally that might mean Brown does not pass Go and does not collect $200 and instead goes directly to prison, he’s already in rehab, so skips a spell in jail – but might be sent there after his next hearing in February.
According to TMZ, the judge also ordered the Brown stop using medical marijuana. PUNCH.
Brown checked himself into rehab last month after breaking his mother’s car windscreen after she suggested he might have anger management issues. Again: he broke his own mother’s windscreen after she suggested he had anger issues. Way to prove the haters wrong, Chris Brown. Way to go.
