Only 27 people turn up to Katie Price's perfume signing in Tesco

We've actually just gnawed our arms off in embarrassment, because today we learned that fewer than 30 people turned up to a Katie Price perfume signing session. Our shoulders are just bloody stumps now. We're typing this with our nose, and cringing hard.

Yes, the former glamour model and now-mother of four/businesswoman/equestrian/book-'writer'/whatever else she calls herself these days nipped into the oh-so glamorous settings of Horwich's Tesco Extra for a meet and greet with fans.


Except, when she got there, only 27 actual people and a few Tesco workers were on hand to pay her homage and have their bottles of Kissable signed.

This lot thought they were queuing up at the checkout. D'oh!

 

Surveying the devastating scene with a practiced eye, Katie swiftly took refuge in a tiny back room off Tesco's staff canteen and refused to budge until the awaiting media had departed. Presumably that took her crowd down to a total of about nine.
Her fans were told not to take any pictures, so, naturally, a few started appearing on Twitter as soon as the event was over.

We love the makeshift barrier erected to stop the hordes of people who... oh, wait, no, never mind

 

The good news is, if you ever feel sad, or down, or lonely, or just a bit dissatisfied with your lot in life, just remember: one time Katie Price only had 27 people turn up to her perfume signing.