Simon Cowell is cautioned by the police for walking his dog in a pet-free zone

QUICK SCATTER IT'S THE PO-LEESE

 

Moob-rocking new father Simon Cowell has been officially cautioned by the police for walking his beloved dogs, Squiddly and Diddly, along a pet-free zone. The police have not cautioned him for holding the dogs up to his red raw and naked chest like some sort of furry bra, though, which perhaps they should have.

Just having fun, guys

 

The X Factor haircut took harem lottery-winner Lauren Silverman and their ten-day-old son Eric for a casual walk along a beach in Miami over the weekend, bringing six-month-old pooches Squiddly and Diddly along for the achingly staged paparazzi opportunity fun family day full of fun.
But Florida police took exception to Simon’s shirtless goings on, and cautioned the supremo for walking Squidz and Didz in a marked pet-free zone. The 54-year-old got off with a written warning – which is good, because normally the offence comes with a $200 fine. And that would leave Simon with a net worth of only $390,999,800.
“[Simon] told them them he would not do it again,” an aghast onlooker told the Mirror.  “He seemed happy that he got away with a telling off.” Yes, phew.