Justin Timberlake: Criticism ‘literally feels like a sh*t on my face’

Justin Timberlake has told GQ this month that listening to the stinging criticism of his films and music “literally” felt like someone dropped a deuce on his face. Which begs the question: how exactly would you go about doing a plop on Justin Timberlake’s face? You have to assume he is complicit in the act. He would have to lie down, for a start, for the angles to work. He would have to sit very still throughout the ordeal. Not really sure you’ve thought this turding simile through, bro.

“I feel – literally – like a bunch of people just took a sh*t on my face,” he said, sensibly.

Addressing the magazines responsible, he said: “You sound like a d*ckhead. It just shocked me because, like, you’re trade magazines. None of your opinions count. And by the way, none of you can do it.”

MEMO TO ANYONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE’S FILMS OR MUSIC:
 You are no longer allowed to not like his films and music unless you have been in a film or done a music. That’s how it works now.

He added: “I grew up with a little bit of a chip on my shoulder, so sometimes I find it funny that I’ve been able to acquire the patience it takes to be kind to people in our business. Because sometimes I just want to [flipping] kill everybody.” Yeah, but… Runner, Runner was a bit ‘the sort of thing critics drop from above on Justin Timberlake’s face’, wasn’t it?