David Beckham explains why he and Victoria had kids early, also why he has a special affection for Clayton Blackmore

 
Beckham news n— oh, sorry. We’re just getting a call from the legal department. EXCUSE US.
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Right okay then WELL as our lawyers have just explained to us, it is actually a legal requirement when writing a David Beckham story that we post QUOTE “a picture of him either looking extremely tidy in one of them H&M adverts AND/OR wearing tight-fitted underwear and not much else” UNQUOTE so here you go, here is a picture of David Beckham:

Right now anyway as we were saying: David Beckham has been speaking this week about how glad he is that he and Victoria chose to start having children early, explaining that his most treasured football possession is a picture of him and his boys (Brooklyn, 14, Romeo, 10, and Cruz, 8) posing with the last trophy he won at Real Madrid.

“One of my favourite pictures that I have is me with all three boys at Madrid in my last game, lifting the trophy,” he told Metro. “Things like that make me so proud of what I have done. The reason I work so hard and I want to achieve so much is for my children.”


He added: “I wanted to have children and boys that could live my career with me – and they did.”

Which is all very well and good but David Beckham also admitted that he once ‘did an intimate sex act to himself’ while looking at former United mullet-wearer Clayton Blackmore in a bizarre initiation ceremony when he was a youngster at the club.

“Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones,” he told the paper. “The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things, while looking at Clayton Blackmore.”